[GROWING OUT OF YOUR CULTURE]
“Time to sleep!” I take my empty tea cup to the kitchen and drag my feet to the bathroom to go and brush my teeth. I always have to force myself to bring that toothbrush to my mouth, because once I am ready for bed my head just really wants to hit the pillow. The room is dark, and as I am laying down I quickly check some messages on my phone. The screen shines on my face and vaguely lightens up my pillow. From the corner of my eyes I suddenly see a big shadow, slowly coming up from the other side of the pillow. I lower my phone to try and understand what is happening. Suddenly the shadow changed into some big red hairy legs. “A Spider!!!!!!” I needed less than a second to jump up from the bed and switch on the light. I guess the spider also freaked out, because he started running at the speed of light to the other side of the bed. And just like that, the sleep was gone.
The shadow changed into some big red hairy legs
Spiders are not the only bed-surprises I have had. I also might have come across a scorpion once or twice. These ‘experiences’ have taught me to always shake my blanket before going to bed. I realize it has become a completely automated behavior, even when I am in places where there surely are no spiders or scorpions. My fear has subsided substantially and these things have now become ‘normal’. If some creepy crawly shows up we deal with it, and if it doesn’t we say hallelujah!
As I observe myself intentionally, I have come to realize that I have developed a lot of African-inspired habits. Like opening the door of my house and always sticking my head out first to check if there is a snake. Or trying to identify a strong stick as soon as I am hearing unfamiliar sounds coming from the bushes when I go for a walk. After all, it could be a snake, a leopard, a thief or whatever else is out there. And what about taking a ‘doggy bag’ with from the restaurant? I have been in places in Holland where that was pretty odd to do. Another habit is to always greet people with, “Hi, how are you?“. Doesn’t matter if it is someone I know or if it is a stranger. It has happened a few times now that I greeted Dutch people like that, and they looked at me as if something is wrong with me. “Why would you ask that? It’s none of your business.”
It has happened a few times that I greeted Dutch people like that, and they looked at me as if something is wrong with me
Things can get really embarrassing you know. Like the time I was looking for a DVD in the Netherlands. The lade in the shop started laughing out loud! Looking at me as if I come from another planet, she told me that DVD’s are no longer from this time anymore. I felt so out of place! Actually, my Namibian University lecturer once joked to me that Namibia is behind about 15 years as compared to the rest of the world, hence maybe the reason why we still have DVD’s this side? Another embarrassing moment was in the supermarket, when I was buying some bread. After I paid I was just standing there, waiting for the cashier to put my groceries in a bag. It took me a few awkward seconds to realize that I was not in Namibia where you have full-time grocery packers at every tailer. I also don’t have to show my receipt to the security guard when I walk out of the store, or keep coins in my hand for the parking guy who watches over the cars. I definitely don’t have to pull out a bread that I just bought for a street kid that says he is hungry.
It took me a few awkward seconds to realize that I was not in Namibia
All these ‘habits’ make you realize that you have really changed and adapted to another country and another culture. It makes being in your own country and culture sometimes a bit challenging. The things that once were normal now seem odd. When I am in my home country, I constantly compare how things are done as compared to Africa. It takes a lot of energy, and the people around you are not really aware of that. I am trying to refrain from telling everyone constantly, “In Namibia they do it like this and like that“, so most of these processes happen silently in my head. On the other hand, looking at it from the bright side, it means I have integrated enough to start feeling odd in my own country.
When I am in my home country I constantly compare how things are done here as compared to Africa
It is honestly a strange observation to watch yourself change so much. And you only notice the changes when you go back to where you came from. It also feels a little sad, because it means you will never fully a 100% feel ‘at home’ anymore, nor at your country of birth, nor in the new country you live in. It’s like you will somehow always be ‘the odd one out’. The key is to make peace with this and to just embrace your unique, intercultural self. So, I am a Dutch-Namibian and I am celebrating this. Feeling odd in both cultures, yet loving them both equally.
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