[DID I CHOOSE MISSIONS OR DID MISSIONS CHOSE ME]
Where does my story begin? Well, a few years ago when I was sitting in my room the clouds started opening up, lightning came down and a voice told me, “Go, you are called for missions”…
Okey, that is not true. Well, then maybe I always wanted to be a missionary as a kid? Again, NO!… Yes, I was soft hearted and always had the need to help others. I knew I wanted to do something for the greater good and I had this “thing” for Africa, but for sure I was not going to live there. English was one of my worst subjects anyways. When I was in the last grade of high school, I remember my two best friends going on about how they wanted to travel the world after they were done with school. I was like, “Good for you, but that’s not for me. I am not that adventures. Let me stay in my well-organized country with all the other cheese-heads”.
I had this thing for Africa, but for sure I was not going to live there
So how in the world did I end up in Namibia?! Good question. After high school I decided to do a gap year and give that whole year to God to work in me and give me direction for the future. I did a Discipleship Training School (DTS) for 6 months at Youth With a Mission (YWAM) in Heidebeek, the Netherlands. My outreach was to Namibia. “Namibia? Where is that?!” I was told Namibia was in Africa. Something in my spirit jumped up in that very moment.
Namibia, where is that?
I guess from there everything started changing. To cut a long story short, my heart broke in pieces for the needs and the people that I encountered during my outreach, specifically in the area of drug and alcohol abuse. From there onwards I knew, “I got to come back!”
Little did I know that this meant to be married 4 years later to a Namibian and being fulltime in missions…IN NAMIBIA. So here I am, ever since 2014. I didn’t plan for anything like this to happen. I never received an official “calling” (whatever that means) whereby God made me sit down and told me, “Nicol, pack your bags, because I am sending you to Namibia“. Instead, God worked in my heart and prepared it for what was to come. Gently He steered up this fire in me to fight injustice, to love the unlovable, to make people feel worthy and valuable again. He guided my path to Namibia, opened up doors in this direction and by following His lead step by step, I ended up here. This story might sound all sweet and dreamy, but the opposite is true. No one prepared me for the reality of the mission field, for what it meant to be a missionary, to live abroad, living from donations and to be far away from everything you know.
No one prepared me for the mission field
From what I had heard and seen, the picture I had of missions and missionaries was one of “suffering and sacrifice”. Those people that never have money for anything, that drive in crappy cars, wear crappy clothes and eat crappy food. BUT….for the sake of the gospel! Soon I found out for this to be scarily true. I saw fellow missionary friends struggling, never having enough and always worrying about money. And so I had come to accept that in my house we could only drink water and tea, that our couches had big holes in them and poking springs, and that our car was just standing at our house, because we didn’t have money to fix it. And yes, we could ask people to help us financially, but oh men…how uncomfortable we felt about that. I believed it all to be part of “doing missions”. Sure I saw what all my friends in Holland had and what I didn’t have. Their first new car, their first house, their nice holiday to Spain… I asked God, “Is this really what it means to be in missions and follow You?”
Sure I saw what my friends in Holland had and what I didn’t have
As years passed by, my view about missions and missionaries started changing. I have come to believe that it doesn’t have to be all difficult and “on the edge” all the time. I believe God wants us to live a life that represents His greatness.
I feel as if there is so much misunderstanding about what it really means to be in missions! Misunderstanding from both the missionaries themselves as well as the churches and the people out there supporting missionaries. I have seen many tears flow, including some of myself because of this. You just want to do what you came for, but so many things can be a blockage, a distraction or a discouragement. Through this blog I hope to give you a glimpse into my missionary world. Please don’t expect stories about hungry African children with big bellies that are being fed. No, this blog will be about what happens “behind the scenes”. The good, as well as the bad..
Please don’t expect stories about hungry African children with big bellies that being fed
You know, I really love what I am doing with all my heart. I found myself being directed into missions and I don’t regret it. I truly find it a privilege to be able to be free to follow God wherever He is leading me. My prayer is that my story will inspire you and that these blogs broaden your perspective about missions, as well as about your own life and life as a whole.
Be blessed, Nicol
gabrielennicol.com 